I had to accept my skin color..

First off let me say that this is not meant to be an "It's because I'm black" or a "Black Power" type of thing, secondly, I'm not trying to talk about how this dates back to slavery and all that shit...this is not so much about being black but being a certain color of black in a black community.
 Just sharing my experience and how it affected me.
When I was growing up I knew things were a certain way because I was black. But I didn't know I would have to deal with these things amongst black people themselves. When I was about 6 or 7 I attended a Private Christian school, and you can probably assume how many black people went there! 5 to be exact, including myself. Annnnd...I didn't have any friends. I wasn't even friends with the other black people that were there! not because I didn't want to. But maybe because I was darker than them...but whose to say that, that was the reason? I mean, it was years ago.
Now let me clean this up a bit...NO I am not the darkest shade of brown and NO I'm not the lightest. But honestly, the shit doesn't really matter. Apparently.
In the beginning I didn't have a problem with being the color that I was..shit, I didn't know that anybody had a problem with the color of their skin...unnnnntilllll. Middle School.
This is when I realized that if you're not a "Yellow bone, red bone" or whatever the fuck else that means light skin then you're not considered pretty/cute/fine nor fuckable. I'm not saying that black women of lighter skin don't go through discriminations of their own, but once again this is my experience.
stay with me...boys and even girls made me feel inadequate on the account of me being "caramel colored" and then shortly after that, I started noticing in a lot of the music videos that the girls all looked the same...from the skin color, to the hair texture, right down to the color of their eyes. I started to hate the fact that I wasn't what I was seeing on TV. And I hated the fact that the lighter girls would and could make the darker girls feel like shit because "They were in demand".
Instead of being smart enough to accept the fact that I will always be this color and I should love it, I accepted the fact that I could never be the color they were..and so it continued to bother me. But when I got to High School I started to realize that darker skin tones are just as bomb! Men and Women of darker and lighter skin tones..they were all the shit! I was just so naive that I just didn't see it. So as I began to become more comfortable with my skin tone, I became more comfortable with my features..facially and bodily. 
Recently, I had I guy tell me "Oooh girl, I love your skin complexion...and I'm usually attracted to yellow girls! -__-  [straight facedd like a muthafucka!]
and although, I could've taken this as a backhanded compliment or just a plain insult; I took it for what it was. A compliment. So that brings me to this..don't worry..no cheesy morals or musical endings,
no shit like that..I'm just going to say that in my opinion there is no good color nor a bad one. It's all some shit that one person or a group of people came up with and everybody as a human race was stupid enough to let live on.
*This post was inspired by my younger sister who is also not of a lighter skin tone..I know she deals with this type of discrimination so I decided to write about it.*
 I've been poppin these posts out right? *pats self on back* lmaoooo
thanks for reading guys!


  1. I totally understand where you're coming from. I liked this guy for ages turned out that he "wasn't into black women" but then he went out with someone who was black but just lighter than me... I was devestated! It shouldnt matter but apparently it does

  2. i can dig... took me tilmy senior yr in hs to realize im dark but... im also prettier than most of the bitches i went to school wit soooo i sed fuck it.